• Yen Wong

Let's talk: Confidence Building!


Photo by Snapwire: https://www.pexels.com/photo/achievement-confident-free-freedom-6945/


Most of us know how important self-confidence is. It is essential in almost every aspect of our lives— yet many people struggle to build it. And this unfortunately, can turn into a vicious cycle: people who lack self-confidence are less likely to achieve the success that could give them more confidence.


So... Why do so many people struggle from feeling confident?


There are so many reasons to this, but what we’ve observed is that the lack of confidence usually comes from childhood interactions with their parents, friends and teachers. In the Asian culture, we grow up in a “tough love” environment, whereby many parents focus more on building a better future for their kids and instead of verbal encouragement, parents often use sentences like “You need to learn faster”, “You need to get higher marks in your exams”, “Don’t be lazy!” etc., and eventually kids begin to interpret those words as “You are not good enough” — and that’s where the lack of confidence begins.


Now we know why most of us lack confidence, let’s look at the definition of being confident and some tips to boost confidence.


What is Self-confidence?


Self-confidence means trusting in your own judgement, capacities and abilities. It's about valuing yourself and feeling worthy, regardless of any imperfections or what others may believe about you. Self-confidence plays an important role in our lives, enabling us to perform better, have healthier relationship, be more open to trying new things and resilient, the ability to bounce back from any challenges you face in life.


Here are some good tips to help you build your self-confidence:


  1. Review your past achievements. It’s easy to lose confidence if you believe you haven’t achieved anything. So! Make a list of all the things that you are proud of in your life, whether it’s learning a new skill or maintaining a good relationship with someone you cherish. Keep this list and add to it whenever you do something you are proud of. When you are feeling low in confidence, pull out the list and use it to remind yourself of all the great stuff you have done.

  2. Focus on things you are good at. Everyone has things that they are good at and what are yours? Recognising what you are good at and building on those things will help you to instill confidence in yourself too.

  3. Practice positive self-talk. You are what you think! You will never be feeling confident if you have negative beliefs running all over your mind. And how do we practice this? Treat yourself like how you would be there for your friend when they are feeling down. Accept them and cheer them up. For example: instead of telling yourself that “I can’t do it”, try telling yourself that: “I can do this” / “All I have to do is try” / “There is no harm trying”.

  4. Stop comparing yourself to others. Everyone is unique and have their own sparks. Comparing yourself with others won't bring you any good, so start appreciating yourself for who you are!

  5. Foster confidence building habits— aim to develop good habits and break the bad ones. For example: Exercising at least once a week, this can improve both physical and mental health. Other than that, getting quality sleep can improve optimism and self-esteem too.

  6. Be kind to yourself. Please don’t be too harsh to yourself as we have a long journey to go and pushing yourself too harsh will trigger counter effects.


If you or the people around you are still struggling with building self-confidence, get in touch with us at Yu Therapy: +6011 - 1529 0227, we will be providing professional assistance with the help of hypnotherapy to guide you through this journey!

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